TRINITY ~ A DAY IN MY LIFE…..1982
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“Don’t tell your mom OK Trinity ?”
“um, OK….”
“Promise?”
“I promise Dad, Promise.” I spoke the words but knew it wasn’t the truth.
What was I supposed to do? My mom would get home from work, and she would definitely notice things missing, the stereo, and the TV!!! I mean what the fuck did my dad think?! I guess he just didn’t care, just wasn’t thinking at all. I mean, moms jewelry is one thing and when she asked me about those little things, of course I had no idea what had happened to it, that can go unnoticed for awhile… but the stereo, and the TV? That’s the type of shit that you notice as soon as you walk in the door!
We made our way outside, and he loaded the items from the house into the back of our old Caprice station wagon. We drove in silence as I watched the streets pass by. I had no idea where we were going, but I was sure I would be sitting in a dark room somewhere at one of my dad‘s friends houses. I would wait for hours for my dad to finish “handling business”. I knew he was doing something wrong, everything about it felt wrong. I always wondered what he was doing but I wasn’t supposed to bother him , I would get chewed out if I dared to ask, or complained that I wanted to go home.
Eventually it was time to pick up mom from the BART station after her commute from the city. As soon as she got in the car she picked up on the vibes.
“OH MY GOD JAMES! PULL OVER! Let me drive the fucking car! ”
He was just blank… couldn’t even respond… like he wanted to speak… with his mouth hanging open… and all he could get out was…
“Huh?”
“James pull the fuck over right now! Are you out of your mind!? You can’t even drive. And you got my kid in the car!!”
It was like he was moved in slow motion, hunched over all cripple like, scratching and itching, eyes barely open… Finally he got the car to the side of the road, and my mom took over the wheel. As we got closer to home I got more and more anxious. I knew what would happen… TV and stereo, gone… my mom was gonna lose it. Straight up.
But it was different this time. No screaming and fighting for me to hear from my room. No slamming doors or throwing things around the house. She had enough of it. The stolen jewelry and stolen money. Six years of it. Getting high while she busted her ass at work. Or even while we were all home, he’d lock himself up in the bathroom for hours at a time. Finding the bent spoons under the sink. Oh, and lets not forget the trips to emergency, and all the times he got “sick”.
I hated him when he was like that. Moaning in pain, crying , spitting, vomiting. Sweating and stinking up the place. It was totally vile and it scared the shit out of me. She had a plan though. A silent private plan she’d been cooking up for a few years. She saved up, and she was just waiting… for the right time. Don’t get me wrong though, times weren’t always that bad when my dad was around. He was my primary caretaker, combed my hair, bathed me and fed me. He was the main cook of the family. And the housecleaner! He did the laundry, kept the house immaculate and took care of me while mom was at work, picked me from school and dropped me off. We were actually really close. Little did I know that soon I wouldn’t see him for 5 years…….
